A Daughter

(From Facebook archives April 2012)

I'll be honest, I used to think that as a father, all I had to do was provide for my family, "be there" for them, love them, teach them and help them. I knew I had a parental influence on my children but I only recently gained an appreciation for the relationship a daughter has with her father. 

Some things I have learned recently: 

My daughter needs me to be her hero. I am her first love and every man that she has a relationship with will be compared to me. As her father, I am the most influential person in her life that will shape who she becomes and how she views herself. My relationship with her can decrease the likelihood of her acquiring an eating disorder, decrease her likelihood of depression and decrease the likelihood of her adopting unhealthy sexual behaviors. Her day revolves around my mood. I need to not only "provide" for her, but I need to protect her, defend her, be an authoritative figure in her life, devote undivided time and attention to her, listen to her, really listen to her, love her extraordinarily, teach her what I know, adore her and be the man that I want her to marry. I need to give her my attention so that she does not find less than desirable ways of gaining my attention. I need make sure that our relationship gets closer when it erroneously appears that I need to give her some distance. I need to be mindful of how she might interpret my words and actions and that I cannot give her the wrong idea of how to achieve success in my eyes. I remember telling Casie when Sophia was 1-2 years old that I just didn't feel a connection to her. But now is a completely different story. I almost feel guilty that I don't feel this connection to the boys yet. I am sure as they get older that things will fall into place with them, too. This last week, Sophia and my relationship has strengthened as a result of some simple alterations in my life. My philosophy on fatherhood has changed completely. I am excited about my new understanding of my role in Sophia's life. Now I just need to put this plan into action.