Last week, I talked about how to express your love to your
child through nonverbal communication. Tonight,
I wanted to talk about ways you can let your spouse or significant other know
how much you love and care for them. I
can tell my wife that I love her multiple times a day, but they are just
words. Hugs, cards and flowers go a
certain distance, but I'm wanting to head towards daily actions and words of
kindness that REALLY show how much you love that person.
For instance, have you ever thought about all the things the
other person does each and every day that goes unnoticed or unthanked? How
often do you expect the other person to perform a task or chore and yet you
rarely or ever perform the task/chore instead?
Does one person in the relationship make all the meals, give the kids
their baths, shop for groceries, vacuum, do laundry, get the kids ready, dust,
etc? When is the last time you helped
out? I mean REALLY helped out? Here are
some ideas for starters:
Ask what you can do to help.
Wash the clothes. Fold the
clothes. Iron the clothes. Wash the dishes. Put the dishes away. Clean all the bathrooms. Go to the store to get groceries. Ask what you can do to help. Clean the floor. Dust.
Pick up toys. Organize areas that
are cluttered. Clean the garage. Clean your closet. Make at least 3 evening meals per week
(ordering out or picking up something on the way home doesn't count). If you don't know how to cook, then learn to
make at least 5 meals really well...and make one of these meals each week. Set a day that you take off work and YOU take
the kids to their doctors appointments. Clean
the windows. Ask what you can do to help. Make an inventory of anything that needs
repaired or replaced in your house. Call
to schedule a massage for the other person while you watch the kids. Don't start eating until the person that
made the meal has a chance to sit down. Have
a drawer or place where all the financial/password/budget/income/tax/investment/insurance
information is kept in case anything ever happens to you. Make an effort to get home from work early on
at least 2 or 3 work days per week to spend time during the whole meal together
as a family. Come home from work and leave all your work
drama and stress at work...don't bring those issues home. Ask how THEIR day was. Ask what you can do to help. Ask for a list of 5 realistic tasks, repairs
or chores that the other person would love for you to get done within the next
2 weeks. Make a will. Take them out on a date and go somewhere you
know THEY want to go, even if you don't want to. Vacuum the steps. Iron some clothes. Coordinate with their best friend a night for
the two of them to go out and enjoy some well deserved time together while you
hold down the fort at home. Write a note
about how much that person means to you.
Make a CD of some songs they can listen to in the car. Give a foot massage. Bring home their favorite tea, coffee, dark
chocolate, etc. Suggest you both go out
for a walk. Suggest a game of
Rummy. Understand that just because you
were at work all day and you are the bread winner that you can't just come home
and call it a day, your role as a husband/father/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/significant
other is just beginning. While at work,
email/text/call and say that you were thinking of them. Schedule a night where the family can just
sit down and play a board game, go to the park or sit at the table and
talk. Make a meal together. Take a day off work in addition to your
regular days off and spend a day-cation with the family. Go for a bike ride together. Get them a gift certificate to their favorite
store. Write them a homemade thank you
card. Take pictures/video of the
family/kids and have it developed and framed.
Ask what you can do to help.
Become a better person. Spend
time with their family. Don't make it
seem like it is always a chore to spend time with their side of the
family. Show an interest in their
activities or interests. If you are
into sports or a sports team, make sure during that season on days/nights where
there are no games you spend extra time and attention to your family....don't
consume all of your time with the sports instead of your family and offer your
family as much energy, devotion and passion as you do your favorite sports
team. That
should be a good start for you. I
promise if you do just 5 things I listed that you don't already do, that you
will show your love in a new dimension.
Be a better person to the ones you love the most. Don't assume you are doing everything you can
to help out. Go above and beyond and
they will do the same for you. Appreciate your family members....they do way more behind the scenes than you probably give them credit for. Try
it....it will provide you with amazing results.
Love sounds complicated.
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