Imperfections

As a parent, it is important to me that my children do not obsess about beauty or physical perfection. Don't get me wrong, I want them to look good and stylish, but the operative word here is "obsess". I want them to see average healthy men and woman as models for what the human form should look like. My goal is to teach them that it is normal to have imperfections and that the easiest way to detect who is the most jealous of them is the person that points out those imperfections, make fun of those imperfections and tries to make you feel less of a person because of those imperfections. 

I want my children to be aware of my imperfections and to know that these imperfections make me the way that I am. Do I brag about these imperfections? No. Do I point out my imperfections in daily conversation?  No. Do most people see my imperfections. Most likely if they do see them, I suspect they don't care about them. I know my wife loves me and that my friends care for me despite my physical flaws. Let's face it, the human body is imperfect...but that is what makes us human. I don't need airbrushing or Photoshopping, because it would cause me to look different than what I really am. I am not perfect, I don't want to be perfect.  I want to be me. I want my kids to be themselves and look the way they look. Their scars and imperfections are a diary of their experiences and identity, nothing that should be viewed as negative.

So, let's talk about my flaws. Let's get them out in the open and talk about why I am glad I have them. I have calves that NASA has confirmed that can be seen from space. My calves are so big that they catch my pants while I am sitting so that when I stand it appears that I am wearing capris. Does it bother me that I have big calves? No. I would rather have these large calves because it doesn't bother me, rather than someone else having big calves like this and them being always self conscience about them. 

To add to the focus of my calves is that I have a hereditary skin condition that looks like one Pangaea landmass of freckles on my calves and shins.  It looks like I ran through mud and didn't take a shower afterwards. To amplify the effect, my socks rub the skin down so that there appears to be a line where the pigment starts and stops, like a sock tan. Does this bother me, no. Why? My large pigmented calves don't make me a better or worse person and they don't define me. Comments about my calves and pigment don't bother me. They are open for conversation.  I don't hide them with pants. In fact, as many of you know, I will wear shorts outside of work as long as it is above 8 degrees. I have to draw the thermal line somewhere.

I am bald.  Most of you never have seen me with hair on my head.  I used to obsess about my hair.  But when I cut all of my hair off, it was one of the best things I did for myself.  I can't imagine what I would look like with hair.  I don't think I would like it.  Becoming bald is an issue for many people and that is fine.  I don't mind joking about my experience with it.  I have to smile when my wife informs me that my hair is getting too long.  That means it's about 3mm long and she wants it to be shaved to the skin "Bic-It"! Many guys would be devastated by losing their hair, for me, not so much. I also have many moles, unsightly back hair and gaps between my teeth. I could go on, but I will spare you. I think you get my point. 

Many people have major deformities and they have the best attitude and beauty on earth. Others are on the covers of magazines, have a blemish and are psychologically devastated.

(For my children):  Don't fall prey to our world's obsession with beauty and physical perfection. You will never be perfect and it is your imperfections that make you unique, special and is the identity that I love about you. Know the difference between a healthy human form and one that cannot be achieved by most because it is artificial.

A great reality check is to look on the internet of the images of models when they don't have hair and makeup on. Guess what, they look like the rest of us (some a lot worse). So don't always believe what you see. There are a lot of people that get paid big bucks to make them look flawless.

Your best qualities should come from within. How you act and treat others is where true beauty comes from (especially how you treat maids, janitors, trash collectors, telemarketers, waiters and waitresses, etc...) If you get more compliments about your looks than you do on how kind and loving you are, then you need to reassess how you are acting.  Physical beauty will degrade over time, inner beauty should improve over time if you allow it.   If you rely on just physical beauty, you will be left with few assets as you age. If you capitalize on your inner beauty, then you will become more beautiful as you age.