I never understood why people make a big deal about women staying home to raise their children. I've had more than one stay-at-home mother describe to me how negatively they are perceived by other working parents. With my parent's generation, the disapproval aimed towards the working mother. There are plenty of pros and cons of having a mother work or stay home with the kids, I just don't have issues with either choice. Mothers and families have a reason for which option they choose.
Many stay-at-home mothers have degrees and could easily participate in the work force, but they choose to sacrifice in other areas so they can be home with their children as they are growing up.
Every one's situation is different. As parents we attempt to make decisions that are in the best interest of our families. Sometimes that means the mother needs to work to provide extra income or a source of benefits, like health insurance.
If you are a stay-at-home mother, make sure you are taking time out for yourself. When you are home all day, it is easy for you to expend all of your energy taking care of others that you tend to neglect taking time out for yourself. Children are a load of work, they make us inefficient at performing simple tasks and they tend to leave us with big messes to clean up. Your time is consumed being a referee, cleaner and chauffeur. Being a stay-at-home mother is really like having two jobs, you have no clock out time and you are always on call.
Be aware that being a stay-at-home mother, you are at a high risk of depression so make sure you are aware of the classic symptoms associated with this condition so you can recognize the early warning signs. If you suspect you are becoming depressed, make sure you seek professional guidance to assist you in treating this condition. Click HERE to learn more about depression in women.
If you are a working mother, make sure you are taking time out for yourself, too. You are juggling the stresses of work as well as the stresses at home. You have messes to clean up in two places, you have to deal with coworkers that act worse than children at times and you may have management that isn't flexible with your schedule so you can tend to family matters. You feel guilty you miss many of your children's activities and you feel like you are choosing work over family. Don't feel guilty about having a job, as that is a source of income/benefits for your family and sometimes it is your only get away from home and the kids. You need and deserve to get away. Since you are away at work, you just need to maximize your time with your children when you are at home. Make sure you take time to relax on work breaks and your drive home so you can be 100% mother when you do arrive home.
Whether you are a working or a stay-at-home mother, be proud of what you do and make sure you are taking time out for yourself. People that judge you don't know your situation and they have not right to criticize you. Don't get sleep deprived, go out with your friends periodically, eat healthy, exercise and do some of the things that YOU enjoy doing. Take advantage of friends and family who can help out with the kids or help with tasks that need to be completed at home.
For all the dads reading this, appreciate all that your wives do for you and your children. Tell them and show them often how much you appreciate all that they do. Don't forget to help out as much as possible and don't think that just because you are the bread winner means you have no other responsibilities with the children or with upkeep of the house. Help with laundry, meals, getting groceries, taking/picking up the kids, vacuuming and cleaning. Tape the game/show and watch it after the kids have gone to bed and after you have had a chance to spend some quiet time with your wife. Give your wife a chance to go out with friends, to go exercise or have some quality time by herself. There are numerous things you can do, even without being asked, that can lighten her load. I am sure if you ask what you can help with and you do it, it will be very much appreciated.
Remember, happy moms raise happy children.
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