Some of my thoughts for parents....and children

When and how often have you told your children that you love them? Do you tell them this at least daily? Do you inform them that you will always be there for them?  ....that there is nothing that they can do that will ever affect how much you love them? 

Do you say things to your children that negatively affect their self-confidence or do you mention things that boost their self-esteem?

Do you tell them how much you look forward to spending time with them?  Do you spend one-on-one time with them? Do you go out on "dates" with your children? Do you maximize the quality of time with your children even if the quantity of time isn't available?  Do you have actual conversations with them without any distractions? 

Do you play cards with your children, go on walks with your children or have at least one meal per day....at home....at a table...eating a healthy meal....talking with each other about quality topics?

Do you share your life experiences with your children in a manner that is educational and beneficial to them? 

Do you add stress to your child's life or do you reduce their overall stress by not only reducing the negative impact on their life but also by assisting them cope with all of life's other stresses?

Do you praise them when they put forth effort yet a lack-luster performance occurred?  Do you give them encouragement about the positive aspects of their performance or do you identify and labor on the few negative aspects of the event?

Do you choose time with your children instead of time with social media or television?

Do you blame your children or yourself for their behavior patterns?

Do you teach your children to look forward to the future or dwell on the past? 

Do your children come home from school to learn more from you about life or do you just leave that burden for the school system?

Do you teach your children what it means to "Pay It Forward"?

Do you allow your children be children or are you forcing them into premature adulthood? 

Do you allow your children to make mistakes?

Do you teach them how to cook?  Eat healthy and exercise?  Manage, save and donate money/time? 

Do you teach your children empathy?

Do you teach them how appreciate the things in life that money can't buy?

Do you practice what you preach?  Do you tell your children not to use profanity/alcohol/smoke/junk food yet use it yourself?  ...and if you do, do you use these things in their presence?

Do you experience volunteerism with them?

Do your children know that you can always be there to talk about anything despite the topic of conversation?

Do you engage conversation with your children or do you assume that they just want to be off by themselves?

Do you teach your children how to solve problems or do you just take care of the issue yourself...leaving them without any knowledge of how to address that problem should it present itself again?

What does investing in your children and their future mean to you?

Do you teach your children patience?

When is the last time you praised your child for their positive behavior? ....the last time you praised another parent on their well-behaved, well-mannered children? 

When is the last time you gave your children a hug?

Do your children see you have a positive or negative self image about yourself?

Do you admit wrongdoing in front of your children?  Do you say you are sorry to your children/in front of your children?

Have your children seen you care for a stranger in need even if/especially if that stranger can never repay you?

Do you educate your children how money and happiness are not related? 

Have you taught your children all of your skills that you have attained from experiencing life/work/childhood?

Do you allow your children to have fun?

Have you taught your sons to respect women?  Your daughters to respect themselves?

Are you fair with your children?  Do your children face consequences for their behavior or do you over/under discipline them?

What can you do to become a better parent?  What lengths would you travel to improve your parenting skills?

How do I know about these things?  Of course, my parents did most of the above things for me.  These things just make sense to me.   

You don't have to be the perfect parent.  If you told me you were, I would not be convinced.  Your imperfections are beneficial for your children to see.  How you respond to those imperfections are what matter the most.

..........

Thank you to my parents for all that you have taught me and have done for me through the years.  I am who I am and have the above philosophies because of your influence on me through the years.  I was provided so many life skills and problem solving skills repeatedly, daily, by you. 

Never did they make me feel like I disappointed them.  Even if we didn't win a game or I didn't score high on a test, my parents never ever dwelled on the negative, rather, only the positive.  Those challenging times in my life were life lessons to prepare myself for the future per my parent's perspective. Tests were just tests and games were just games.  Life, as taught to me, was about much more than just those individual things.  My parents never argued around me.   They were positive role models for my siblings and me.  My parent's life revolved around us and they made every effort to attend every event I participated in and I was involved in numerous sports and co curricular activities growing up. My parents have always supported me in my decisions and have always been there when I needed them.  My parents instilled self confidence while maintaining being humble.  My parents taught me to cheer for the underdog.  I learned respect and commitment from the actions of my parents towards each other and other people.  My parents taught me to be empathetic.  My parents sacrificed throughout their life so that us children could experience superior education.  My parents taught me self-sufficiency, discipline and a strong work ethic.  My parents taught me about love by loving each other and me unconditionally.  My parents were not perfect and I am happy that they weren't otherwise I would feel like I paled in comparison to them as a parent myself.  I learned that it is OK to be imperfect and to have flaws and that it is fine to make mistakes.  I know how to care for others because of how my parents cared for me.   Every person that reads this blog, every patient of mine, all my friends and my children benefit from all the tools that you have given me and I am able to pass on to them.   I know how to love, care and serve due to your influence.  My high quality of life is directly correlated with all that you have done for me. 

Again, I thank you for all of the above, your support and for all that I failed to mention.  As always, thank you for being you and for being there for me!

Now, I just need to make sure to pass on to my children all that you have taught me. 

 You see, this wasn't all about our children.

When is the last time you thanked your parents, even if they aren't around anymore?  Today seems just as good of a day as any other to tell them.  Take a moment to call, visit or think/reflect about them.  I'm sure they will appreciate knowing that you realize all that they have done for you.